Have you wondered why lovemaking is more mutually satisfying with some partners than with others? Was it you? Was it them? Was it your experience, or lack thereof? Some partners seem to be on the same page with you, while others...not so much. Why is this? Are there basic but different styles and preferences to sex? You bet! Then how do you begin to understand how to keep the one you love happy in matters of love making (and help them keep you happy too)?
For each of us, beyond the initial chemistry, we are internally hardwired to how we prefer to experience sex. The more we understand how our partners and we are wired, the more consistently rewarding relationships become.
The first key is how you and your partner like to use your senses during sex. The second is how you prefer the pattern of sexual activities to unfold. Neuroscience unlocks these preferences and patterns for lovemaking!
To get started, which of the following sensory characteristics do you and your partner relate to the most and least? Focus on the most important sensory preference for each person. With practice, work toward integrating the two strongest sensory pathways into your sexual repertoire. For variety and spice, combine the strongest and weakest sensory pathways. Also, experiment with scent and taste like aromatic candles, essential oils, sensual food and drinks.
Kinesthetic: How things feel
Try: Comfortable settings with freedom to move about, pillows, non-traditional settings, massage, different positions, diverse kinesthetic activities, touch and movement.
Visual: How things look:
Try: Visually attractive environment, provocative clothing, art, flowers, candles, stimulating images, mirrors, nature scenes, descriptive notes, look deeply into each other's eyes.
Auditory: How things sound:
Try: Quiet and interruption free environment, talk, listen, and ask questions, mood music, verbally descriptive, express feelings auditorily, move to the tempo and rhythm of music.
It's also important to experience sensory sexual activities in the cognitive pattern of choice.
Sequential:Predictability and knowing what to expect
Try: Agreed upon activities within a time frame
Global:Open ended possibilities and options
Try: Variety and open-ended activities with spontaneity
Integrated:a balance of Sequential and Global
Try: Random variation of predictability and unpredictability
It's fun and easy to accommodate each other's neuroscience preferences and patterns in sexual encounters. The possibilities are endless. You should be able to get started now. If you are different from one another, you have the possibility of doubling your pleasures. Giving and receiving are two sides of the same coin. Understanding your sensory pathways is the key to unlock your sexual smorgasbord of fulfillment, excitement and ecstasy. Respecting and responding safely to one another's sexual preferences builds deep bonds of respect and caring.
Stephen Hager is a lifelong learner, scientist, author, speaker and teacher. Along with Deanna Phelps, he is the co-creator of brain-based human development products. Their goal is to help people live better and more peaceful lives through the "power within." Since 1992, Deanna and Stephen have been developing practical neuroscience solutions for better communications, clearer thinking, faster learning, higher productivity, stress management and creative problem solving. Everything they have learned from 20 years of research and working with people is incorporated in the comprehensive and individualized Brain PathWays 14-page report. Brain PathWays is the most advanced and value packed neuroscience system available anywhere. The Brain PathWays Blog, Free Daily Messages From Your Brain and Free Resources will likely motivate you to bookmark http://www.brainpathways.net as a Favorite.
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