4 Proven Ways to Trade in Turbulence For Peace With the ADHD Child

What does flying on an airplane and parenting a child with ADHD have in common? Sooner or later you are bound to experience some turbulence.

There are many parents who struggle with children with behaviors common to Attention Deficit Disorder/Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADD/ADHD), Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD), Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Attachment Disorder and sensory integration challenges.

While it may not be apparent, these children tend to be naturally sensitive in nature and often act out what they feel. They are usually gifted, intellectually, intuitively, artistically or in other ways. Because of this they can also be known as spirited children. When parents understand the true nature of their child from this perspective, it allows them to more easily help their child assimilate in the world and be successful.

Some of the turbulence parents may experience when parenting a spirited child includes: hyperactivity, emotional outbursts, sibling fighting, lack of focus, arguing and lack of cooperation. With airplane turbulence, there is little you can do about it, except avoid flying. As a parent, there is something you can do.

Spirited, sensitive children have the equivalent of a built-in energy sensor. They quickly detect when they receive more attention, energy and emotions from parents and teachers. It can be easy for a child who tends to be more needy, sensitive or intense to unconsciously decide that he or she gets more 'juice' and things are more exciting when engaged in negative behavior. The child can presume this even if his or her parents or teachers have good intentions, unless they know techniques to override this. When this pattern is repeated over and over, it can become deeply ingrained. The spirited child can even become addicted to engaging in negative behavior in order to get the 'juice' and attention they seek.

Utilizing techniques based on the Nurtured Heart Approach developed by Howard Glasser can override these negative behavior patterns. When the parent gives encouraging feedback and applies other techniques of the approach, he or she provides the child with direct experiences of success. They do this in an innovative way that the spirited child can integrate on every level - mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.

Instead of struggling with the intense child, parents and teachers can transform the behaviors of the spirited child into new positive patterns. This is accomplished by giving the child heartfelt frequent feedback that focuses on positive choices and behaviors.

When encouraging feedback is consistently given in a way the child can absorb, the child begins to build his or her internal reception of it. This creates new positive patterns for successful choices. Through this process the spirited child also regains trust in his or her decision-making and abilities.

Some of the feedback includes:

* Noticing and describing in detail what the child is doing when nothing is going wrong. For example: "Johnny, you are really focusing intently on that book!"

* Teaching the child important values like good manners, respect, and good attitude by giving acknowledgement and appreciation when the child expresses nuances of that quality, not when the child has made a mistake.

* Actively letting the child know when the rules are not being broken. Enthusiastically articulating when the child is not hitting, not arguing, not yelling or teasing. This is a powerful way to teach rules when the child is more open to listening.

* Clearly making requests to the child specifically and directly. Using the phrase 'I need you to...please.' or "You need to... " to obtain the child's cooperation for completion of a task. Then give specific appreciation to the child for completing or even moving in the direction of completing the request. For example "I appreciate you putting your shoes away so we can have a floor that is clean and clear to walk on. That's cooperation!"

Additionally, having specific rules, boundaries and unwavering consequences are other essential components for sustainable success. The spirited child's first-hand experiences greatly help to build his or her confidence and cooperation. They serve as an important foundation for the child to repattern negative behavior so that the child can learn how to channel his or her energy into positive pursuits. By providing these learning opportunities, you are teaching your child to embrace and use his or her intensity as a gift on many levels. It is then that the spirited, sensitive child can be at peace with himself or herself, within the family and the world.

Tami Gulland is author of "Embracing Your Spirited Child: A Transformational Guide for Parents of Children with ADD/ ADHD, ODD, PTSD and Attachment Disorder." She is also the founder of The Center for Family Love. The Center for Family Love is an online resource with a mission to serve parents of sensitive and intense children to restore harmony at home and create healthy, heartfelt connections.

To learn the secret to creating real harmony with your child and the hidden factor impacting your child's behavior, visit: http://tamigulland.com/bonus/subscribe_ep_bonuses.html

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