Do you have children that come from different personality extremes? Does the phrase night and day describe your children's personalities compared to one another? Some days it feels like that parenting manual that we are supposed to have.... does not even contain the right language! And then when you break it out and start to decipher the pages you realize a whole different manual is needed for your other child! Have you ever felt this way? I'm here to tell you, I have!
My first born Katelyn is very smart. She knew every letter and its sound at 2, was pre reading at 3 and by the time she was in preschool at 4 she was reading those read aloud books that they send home in first grade. The last week of school as a first grader she was identified as Gifted and Talented.
My second, Hannah, as a baby had chronic ear infections causing her hearing loss and then needing speech therapy to compensate. She has also struggled with issues of sensory integration. This past year she attended a transitional kindergarten class for children "not ready" for regular kindergarten yet. She did very well and I am grateful she had that chance!
My two girls couldn't be at farther ends of the spectrum and the challenge that this causes me as a parent can sometimes feel exhausting. I have to parent very differently each child and I try hard not to expect the same things from them but sometimes in the sake of time, I need to.
One thing that I have learned that does help me get through these times is to be as proactive as possible. When I pre-plan activities and have at least ideas in mind, when the need arises I can whip out one of those tricks from my mommy bag and hope it will get me through the next few hours.
I was on Facebook the other day and I saw on a mom group I belong to, a post about what to do with kids when they claim "I'm Bored". Many of the moms said they in licit their help with chores around the house and quickly the kids scatter. Many said they use the "I'm bored jar" as a way to end the complaints. Fill a jar with strips of paper with all kinds of activities that the kids can do themselves. Some fun, some chores, some work... mix them up and tell the kids to pick from the jar when they are bored. (for younger ones pictures may need to be used).
I of course jumped in with both feet, filled out 30 or so strips, explained the "rules" and next thing I know, they have each completed like 8 strips!! Well then I hear my eldest exclaim- that mom needs to make more strips of activities! Of course the younger one is content just drawing from the jar not really "following the directions". Boy are they different!!
Yes the idea worked...maybe a little too well but the point is, it took me 15 minutes to put it together and has saved me from lots of arguing, complaining and whining. Did each kid benefit? Well, in their own way I suppose they did. Was it what I imagined? Not exactly but that is okay. The problem is solved and the kids are happy and that makes me happy!
Most of the time the matter of our children being at different extremes as one another is more about reframing our mindset. If we decide that it is hard.... it will be. If we decide to do the best we can for each kid... and keep it simple, it will be!!
Take a few minutes now to preplan some things for your children to do over the summer break so you are not hearing, Mom, I'm bored". But remember, keep it simple, and decide to let some things go- after all, it is vacation!
For more ideas and information check out www.ParentingSpecialChildren.com
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